My Pathetic Obituary

I've noticed a common theme lately in conversations with friends who are either entering or are well into the second half of life--we all seem anxious to know that our lives will count for something. Here are some roughly accurate quotations:

“…I want to make a difference in people’s lives”

“…I want to write books that bring hope to women who share my struggles”

“…I want people to get back to me later and tell me that what I said changed their lives”

[and my personal favorite...]

“…I don’t want to have a pathetic obituary, like most of the ones I read in the paper”

It was during that last conversation that I started to consider how easy it is to be drawn into the mindset of the world---which is all about measurements and comparisons, even after death (how will my 10-sentence life summary measure up to the one next door?!)---and lose sight of the mindset of God, which is all about the orientation of our hearts toward Him.

This is the first and greatest commandment, Jesus said: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” Yes, yes, we religious folk respond--of course! We are to love the Lord in all those aspects as we serve Him and [here comes the shift in mindset] serving Him of course means doing and if we’re doing with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength then the results are bound to add up to something measurable and significant...In other words, there should be no pathetic obituaries for the lovers of God (or at least not for this lover of God)!!

But what if, in God’s reckoning, that which is truly significant happens in the hidden places of the heart, and may or may not translate into something that the world--including the religious world--can measure? Think, for instance, of this challenge from Jesus to the measurement approach of His religious world: “When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you” (Matt. 6:5-6).

And what do you suppose the reward might be for the private time I spend turning my heart to my Abba--something visible and measurable? Something that will be recorded in a newspaper obituary?  I’m thinking the reward is a lot less tangible--perhaps a sense of confidence or freedom, or some other peaceful fruit of being in right relationship with the Lord of Creation. Kind of hard to put that outcome into words for even our most intimate friends to understand (much less for the the world to read about) but think of its immeasurable significance, both in this life and the next!

Like my friends I'd really really like to make a measurable contribution to my community---I long to make a difference, to write books that bring hope, to know for certain that I changed people's lives for the better. Will those desires translate into a dazzling obituary? Probably not. 

Good thing there's an alternative universe to live in, with a completely different reward system. Man looks on the outward appearance, and measures accordingly, but God looks on the heart, where "measurement" has no meaning.